Contest: Spartan Race Giveaway

Training for marathons means running a lot. I try to incorporate some kind of strength training, but I’m usually terrible at it and tell myself that logging a billion miles a week somehow makes up for having the upper body strength of a 4-year-old girl. Maybe that’s why I’m not good at marathons. The little training I do is at home from some YouTube video where I mostly just do a couple reps and then lie on the floor as I think about a nacho-pizza hybrid food. Think about that for a minute. Some kind of tortilla chip-esque crust with nacho toppings on it.

When I go to the gym, it’s usually because the weather is too terrible to run. But while I’m there, I avoid the weights section  – especially when it’s busy and when it’s not busy. People in that area tend to grunt and bro-hug a lot.


So it’s kinda ironic that the people over at  Spartan Race contacted me and asked if I’d be willing to promote their upcoming race in Ohio in October with a giveaway on my blog. I love free things. I couldn’t say no.

Here’s the description of the Spartan Race from their site: Inspired by ancient Spartan warriors (think Spartan 300) who embodied ultimate endurance, resilience and strength, each Spartan Race is designed to push you to tap into your highest potential and greatest strength. It is a true adventure that will leave you exhilarated and empowered in ways you’ve never experienced before.

Here’s what that really means: If you think running is hard, try hiking up a mountain made muddy with the blood of a 1,000 Englishmen and then crawl under some barbed wire and leap over blazing hay bales all while amped-up dudes with 12-packs try to hit you with those things that look like giant Q-tips and feral demon dogs try to chomp on your Achilles. 

I might be off a little on the translation.

Ha. Drake.

Ha. Drake.

While I’ve never even attempted to finish one of these events (see above mention of laziness for reasoning), I know they’ve taken off like crazy over the last couple of years. According to a Running USA Study, there are now more than 35 non-traditional running series nationwide. And in just five years, the number of estimated finishers in U.S. non-traditional events has grown from low six figures in 2009 to 4 million in 2013, a 40-fold increase.

I wouldn’t even know how to begin training for an event like this. My guess is it involves throwing big chunks of concrete around your yard or building an elaborate monkey bar set like those guys on American Ninja Warrior. Whatever it is, it takes condition and dedication – just like marathon running.

If a cat learned to do this, maybe I can learn to put down a donut.

If a cat learned to do this, maybe I can learn to put down a donut.

And now we get to the contest part of this post. I’ve got a code for a free entry to any of the Spartan Races held around the country. The code will work one time for any open heat (non-confirmed start time) in any 2014 Spartan Race in the continental US. All you’ve got to do is leave a comment on this post telling me what’s the most creative way to train for a Spartan Race. I’ll randomly draw a winner on August 3 at 5:00 pm, so that gives you two weeks to play. I’ll also email all participants with a code for 10% off any Spartan Race. And if you want to leave a funny reply, but you don’t want to be entered, just say that in your comment.

Make your answers as creative as possible. You won’t be judged by how wacky or zany the idea is, but nobody wants to read about cluster reps and dead pulls. (Y’all, I don’t know what those are. I had to Google “lifting techniques” just to find something to finish that sentence. I have to get to a gym.)


11 responses to “Contest: Spartan Race Giveaway

  1. Train. Hard. Often. Stop on the side of the road and jump over hay bales. Chase some cows. Grab it’s tail and you win, maybe. Push ups. Lots. Push against walls. Move them. Climb anything except your mommas couch. Get your grip strong. Better than just cracking open a jar of stubborn pickles. Walk around with greased up cinder blocks. Might as well as some running in the mix. If you’re on the East Coast you better work on hill climbs. Walk to Boone from Hickory one day. You’ll understand. Prepare your awkward picture face. There is never a good angle or pose during the race. Say this a few hundred times, THANK YOU. After you cross that muddy sloppy finish line you will need to say thank you to the volunteers, the person that have you the most delicious banana ever, the Spartans you accidently elbowed in the chest and thank you to the Spartans that came before you. Smile. Enjoy. Sign up and do it again! #AROO

  2. Chase squirrels. Really. They’re fast so you get in your running, they change direction quickly do you develop fast foot work, and they climb trees so you have to work on all those muscles you’ll need for the ropes, cargo nets, and monkey bars.
    In all seriousness though, you’ll never catch one, but if you really try you’ll be sweating, you’ll be breathing hard, and your and will be burning. Trust me: squirrel training partners. It’s everything you need.

  3. Well after getting the upper body strength part down the next creative way to train is running up some hills carrying a 70lb sand bag on your shoulders. I’m trying to build up leg strength in preparation for the Vermont beast in September.

  4. The most creative way to train for a Spartan is to run in the rain.

    Rain adds a distracting element, makes you a bit uncomfortable in wet clothes and shoes, and forces you to push yourself. The rain prepares you mentally for similar situations, like a mud run. The discomfort and sounds of the rain take your mind off your breathing and how tired you might be.

  5. Bear crawl! Simultaneously build strength and muscular endurance in your chest, triceps, and shoulders. You’ll need this strength for obstacle races! Get down on all fours without allowing your knees to touch the ground. It’s an almost exclusive upper body strength movement that puts constant pressure on your upper body. When you’re done, your muscles will burn!

  6. There is a group of fitness enthusiasts called November Project. One of the workouts they do is climbing the steps at Harvard Stadium. The whole stadium is concrete. Running steps will help to lose weight, tone leg muscles, and improve cardiovascular fitness. Oh, and it’s free!

  7. I have never ran one, so I would train my normal marathon training and cut the speed work day and change it to cross training day. This way I would get at least 2 days of lifting. I would also do more cross fit

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